The Joys of Parenthood

Aside from attending [Private Christian University], I took a course between my freshman and sophomore years at a community college back home during the summer. Giving a better time frame, or to make it a bit more specific, I took this course during the summer I worked at the funeral home where the "Ashes to Ashes - Where Did They Go?!" story.

Now, the reason I took the course online and not at my current university is that I didn't have time to take the elective with current major and minor. That being the case, I decided that taking my fine arts credit during the summer would be a smart thing to do. It wasn't.

The class was simple, basically making me define what a line is and what the colors of the color spectrum were. In the end I ended up with a B. I'm not sure how I didn't get an A, however, I was satisfied that I got my three hours for doing basically doing nothing. Now, the transferring of the credit to [Private Christian University] though, not so easy. apparently, to transfer credits from [Public Community College] to...anywhere, you need to send them a full transcript of all of your grades for them to release their information to you. I failed to see any reason for this and called bullshit. There was no need for them to have that information since I basically used [Public Community College] as a stepping stone, not a foundation for higher learning. They were not pleased.

----ONE YEAR LATER----

Yep, you read right, it's been a year since the course. Now, why all the backstory? Well I'll tell you why: I STILL DON'T HAVE THE FUCKING CREDIT. Oh no, to this day I still refused to send my transcript to [Public Community College] since it's still none of their business. However, that all changed this afternoon:

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"The Joys of Parenthood"

Tomorrow I register for my Spring 2010 classes here at [Private Christian University].....hopefully. The problem that would hinder my plans is the ever present cancerous tumor on my mind that is [Public Community College] and their holding my art appreciation grade hostage. After deciding enough was enough I decided to play ball and called the community college for their ransom demands, namely, how to get them my transcript. While I did all this I was in the office of a good friend of mine who just so happens to work for [Private Christian University]. While listening to my troubles she told me to hand over the phone to her when I was done holding to be transferred fr the third time. Not knowing what she was going to do I handed over my phone (on speakerphone) to her and witnessed this:

Phone: Admissions, this is [underpaid employee]. How may I help you?

Sunshine: Hi, this is Sunshine Kroll. I am Michael's mother. Apparently he took a course at your school last year and the grade has still not transferred to his primary university. He registers tomorrow and I was just wondering if it were possible to speed up this process?

Phone: Ma'am we need his official transcript before we can release his grades.

Sunshine: Well, I have an unofficial transcript all ready to go right now if you will accept that until the official comes in the mail. It's just very important that he registers tomorrow for school.

*PAUSE*

Sunshine: Here, let Michael explain the situation

Why the pause you ask? Well, Sunshine, my dear friend, couldn't keep it together long enough to finish the conversation. Now, this is not to say that her FULL OFFICE could do any better. It was nearly impossible to hold in our laughter over her posing as my mother to get my grades sent over quickly. In the end I had to take back the phone, walk to the back of the office, and continue the conversation.

A minute or so later I returned to Sunshine and some of the underclassman in the office, slammed my phone down, and said:

Me: I got transferred to the boss. All I was told was basically, "I'm sorry, you need an official transcript. Bye.".

Let me tell you, Sunshine did not live up to her name after that. SHE-WAS-PISSED:

Sunshine: Michael, you give me that phone and let me call them back right now. We will take care of this and get you those grades.

Me: There is no way in hell you're getting a hold of my phone. Didn't you just see what happened? We could barely hold it in when you dropped your fake name. I seriously doubt-

Sunshine: I can do this! Call them back! I talked to a girl's doctor earlier and pretended to be her mother to get her a better appointment time. I'm sure I can do this!

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In the end I sent out a transcript request. Unfortunately, Sunshine was able to play the role of my mother and acquire my official grade from [Public Community College]. However, it was a fun de-stressor, at least for me, to see this event unfold in front of my eyes.